Fantastic/Non-Human South Park Characters
Towelie is a talking towel who was genetically engineered by Tynacorp, in order to allow him to make people as dry as necessary depending on the situation. He is usually seen either appearing out of nowhere to give towel advice to the citizens of South Park, or getting high. The theme song from Popeye plays whenever Towelie gets high. Towelie is probably best described as a light blue towel with arms, legs and an anthropomorphic face. His eyes turn a shade of red when he gets high. In "Crippled Summer", he is shown crumpled and burnt at the edges, due to his drug addiction.
Clyde Frog
Clyde Frog was one of Eric Cartman's stuffed animals. It was known as Eric's most favorite toy, as evidenced in "Die Hippie, Die", where he says a tearful farewell to Clyde Frog before he goes on a dangerous mission. In some episodes, when Eric was alone, he asked Clyde Frog for advice, and he seems to have seen the stuffed animal as a friend as seen in "Die Hippie, Die". Clyde Frog is based upon a character of the same name from a children's educational program from the late 1970's called "The Clyde Frog Show".
Clyde Frog "died" in the episode "1%" in season 15. He was murdered at the hands of Cartman, who pretended it was Polly Prissypants, after he was told to grow up and "killed" all of his stuffed dolls in a dramatic way.
Giant Douche & Turd Sandwich
When PETA comes to town protesting the school mascot, Mooey the Cow, the students are forced to hold a special election, and in turn, nominate these two brave new candidates: Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich. Kyle's squad is pro-"Giant Douche," while Cartman (and Butters) get hard behind "Turd Sandwich." Turns out, they are both really shitty choices.
Mr. Hat
Mr. Hat is a puppet worn on Herbert Garrison's hand and Mr. Garrison appears to converse with it. Mr. Hat was used by Mr. Garrison from "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe" until "Summer Sucks", (Where he was replaced with Mr. Twig), and then from the end of "Chef Aid" to his last regular appearance in "A Ladder to Heaven". He was replaced by Mr. Slave in the episode "The Death Camp of Tolerance" and since he has only made one cameo appearance in the episode "Pre-School" in a flashback. He returned to the show in the episode "200" because Cartman knew he could know the truth behind his father.
Mr. Twig
Mr. Twig was Mr. Garrison's teaching assistant from "Summer Sucks" to "Chef Aid". Since then, he has yet to reappear.
Mr. Twig is basically a twig that wears a purple shirt and has a logo reminiscent of symbol that the Nazis made homosexuals wear during the Holocaust on the upper left of the shirt. This is probably a reference to Mr. Garrison's closet homosexuality during Season Two.
The Crab People
The Crab People appeared in the episode "South Park is Gay!". They ran a show called Queer Eye for the Straight Guy disguised as homosexual men. Their plans of taking over the world by making everyone metrosexual is eventually revealed to Kyle. They wanted to make all the men weak enough so an invasion would be easy because they are small and weak themselves. The TV producers said they did it before on the Jeffersons.
Crab People are anthropomorphic crabs. They're colored like crabs and have crab-like features, such as antennae, claws, and crab shells. In "South Park is Gay!", they take on human disguises, disguising themselves as the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Death
"Death" is the sixth episode of Season One, and the 6th overall episode of South Park. It originally aired on September 17, 1997.
At his grandfather's 102nd birthday, Stan is faced with a moral dilemma -- Grandpa's sole birthday wish is for Stan to be the assist in his assisted suicide. Sheila Broflovski has organized a protest against the boys' favorite TV show, Terrance and Phillip, and the South Park parents have left the kids on their own to follow Kyle's mom to the network headquarters in the big city.
Afghani Goat
After the Boys send a dollar to needy children Afghanistan, they receive this cute little goat. But Afgani Goats cannot breathe the sweet air of freedom in America without choking, so the Boys go on a mission to return it to Afghanistan. The goat, however, is confused for Stevie Nicks, and becomes quite the star among the military.
Phonics Monkey
Phonics Monkey is a drum playing monkey who appeared in the Season Three episode, "Hooked on Monkey Phonics".
To help Cartman win the school spelling bee, Cartman's Mom gives him this cute little Fonics Monkey. He plays a mini drums set, and occasionally, masturbates in public.
Fluffy
Fluffy is Cartman's pet pig. In "An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig", Kyle Broflovski attempts to create a new species of smaller "pot-bellied elephants" that he can keep in his house. He hopes to achieve this goal by making his pet elephant make love to Fluffy.
Although his first efforts are futile, with some help from Chef and Elton John, the pair eventually get into the mood and make sweet love. However, for whatever reason, the spawn of this union is a piglet with an uncanny resemblance to Mr. Garrison.
Ghost of Abraham Lincoln
Abraham Lincoln's first appearance, as a character, was in "The List". However, he has been mentioned as well as seen in photographs many times previously.
Abraham Lincoln wears can be seen wearing a black top hat, a white, button-up undershirt, a black suit, gray pants, and a black bow-tie. He has a gray beard and an overall "wrinkly" appearance.
Goobacks
"Goobacks" is the seventh episode of Season Eight, and the 118th overall episode of South Park. It aired on April 28, 2004.
Humans from the year 3045 are traveling to South Park through a recently discovered time portal and are looking for work. When the boys try to earn some extra money, the time-traveling immigrants are willing to do the same work for next to nothing, causing the boys to lose their jobs.
The guinea creatures first appeared in "Pandemic", and "Pandemic 2: The Startling".
The Giant Guineas Creatures are from Peru where the sound of pan flute bands subdued them. When all of the pan flute bands left the guineas went on a rampage. They destroyed South Park and killed many people, and everyone was terrified of them. Randy Marsh wanted to film them to get good footage of the family, and Sharon Marsh was put off and was demanding him to turn off the camera.
Guinea Creatures are shown to be able to reach a higher level of intelligence, even sentience, as The Guinea Pirate does. The Guinea creatures can also morph into other creatures, such as how The Guinea Pirate morphs into a human and infiltrates The American Government. Guinea Creatures can possibly overcome their weakness of Peruvian Flute Bands if they are smart enough, as The Guinea Pirate does, who is the only known Guinea Creature to successfully leave The Guinea Creatures Home and live in a place where Peruvian Flute Bands were.
Mr. Hankey
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo is the Christmas deity of South Park, taking the place of others, such as Frosty or Rudolph, and a jolly Poo that visits anyone on Christmas that has a lot of high fiber in their diets. He resides in the sewers beneath South Park, and therefore has been known to appear as if by magic from out of toilet cisterns, bringing with him tidings of joy, and a ghastly smell.
Autumn
Autumn is the dissatisfied wife of Mr. Hankey and the mother of Cornwallis, Amber, and Simon. Autumn only appears in "A Very Crappy Christmas". She has a drinking problem, and is seen drunk often.
She seems to be unhappy with her marriage, mostly due to Mr. Hankey's erectile dysfunction. She seems to use alcohol as a crutch for her unhappiness.
She has three kids. Being a housewife, it can be assumed that she takes care of them.
Najix
Najix is an alien who works for the Nerzod Productions seen in the Season Seven episode, "Cancelled". Najix is the main producer of the hit intergalactic reality TV show Earth which has made it to over one hundred episodes. Najix is a intergalactic shape-shifting television producer and he runs the company Nerzod Productions.
Green and yellow skin and four legs and sharp teeth. In an attempt to appear less scary, Najix transformed into anything the boys could imagine. Cartman suggested an ice cream-shitting taco, which Najix eventually settled on.
A very kind alien that helps the boys see the Joozian studio heads about not having Earth cancelled. Also fixes Cartman's anal satellite that broadcasts the Earth to the Universe.
Has the ability to shape-shift from his original form based on the the thoughts of those around him.
Jakovosaurs
Jakovosaurs are strange duck-like creatures who appeared in the episode "Jakovasaurs". They were thought to be extinct, but were rediscovered by Eric Cartman while on a camping trip with the other boys. The Jakovasaurs had a short-lived sitcom.
After the town aided the Jakovosaurs to successfully reproduce they realized just how annoying they really were and disposed of them by sending them with similar annoying, clumsy and loud people by placing them on a flight to France. The French enjoyed the clumsy antics of the Jakovosaurs and let them stay in the country. Jakovasaurs are large yellow creatures with either pink or blue lips. Male Jakovasaurs, such as Jakov, have green lips and females, such as Junjun, have pink lips.
Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Lopez appeared in the episode "Fat Butt and Pancake Head".
Jennifer Lopez wears very elegant clothing. She wears a long white skirt, a gray formal shirt with a white collar, a white woman's business coat, and a large white hat with a pearl trimming. She has a plethora of jewelry on consisting of several gold necklaces, a pearl necklace, several gold rings with jewels, a pearl wrist band, and emerald earring. Her accessories include, a white purse with a gold chain handle, white glasses, a pink fur scarf, and a white poodle with a emerald and gold necklace of its own. She has long, wavy brown hair. She also wears make-up consisting of pink lipstick and teal eye shadow.
This sassy Mexican singer loves tacos and burritos, as well as Ben Affleck. Her south-of-the-border themed ballads scored her a record contract in "Fat Butt and Pancake Head" (705). She manages to win the love of Ben Affleck and piss of the original J-Lo -- all this, despite the fact that she is attached to Cartman's hand. Or is she? She also makes a picante return in the "200"/"201" saga...and helps Cartman with his quest to find out his real father.
Joozians
The Joozians are an alien species that control all media in the universe. They only appear in "Cancelled". The aliens don't listen to the boys at first while explaining that after 100 episodes, series start to decline in sensibility. This is followed by scenes where they take the boys to lunch, go to a topless bar, and visit a prostitute's hotel room. The two Joozians then, very drunk and high on "blach", begin sucking on each others' "jagons" and sticking their fingers in each other's "thrushers", actions depicted as being highly erotic and, seemingly, inappropriate. Kenny takes a picture of it, and the boys then blackmail the aliens with it. The Joozians agree to keep not cancel Earth. They later erase everyone's memory of Earth being a intergalactic reality television show.
Mr. Kitty
Mr. Kitty is Eric Cartman's pet cat, who made his first appearance in the episode "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe".
Mr. Kitty is a gray cat with dark gray ears, and black whiskers. Prior to his appearance in ""Major Boobage", Mr. Kitty had a black nose, with the exception of his original appearance in "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe" where he had a pink nose. His updated appearance includes more detailed fur, a more detailed body style, and a pink nose. Mr. Kitty is actualy a female cat.
Travis, Kelly & Baby
Travis, Kelly, and Baby. A family of lice living on Clyde's head. Travis and Kelly are madly in love, and their little one, Baby, is the pride of their louse family. But when a green, gooey epidemic kills off the lice colony, Travis is left alone to protect Baby. The world is cruel, but his love for Baby is stronger...
Manbearpig
Manbearpig is the single biggest threat to our planet, and may be the end to the human race as we know it. It is a creature which roams the Earth alone. It Is half man, half bear and half pig. Thankfully, we have Al Gore to spread Manbearpig awareness, and help protect us against this threat. In "Imaginationland: Part II", we actually get to see just how deadly this beast is. I'm cereal.
Lemmiwinks
Lemmiwinks is the gerbil belonging to the fourth grade class at South Park Elementary. In the episode, "The Death Camp of Tolerance", Mr. Garrison inserts Lemmiwinks into Mr. Slave's ass with the hope that he'll get fired. Lemmiwinks then travels through Mr. Slave's digestive system to reach freedom. With the help of the spirits of other animal victims, he escapes successfully, and is informed after his departure that he is actually the 'Gerbil King', and is thus destined for many more adventures.
Marklar
The Marklar are an intelligent species of identical aliens who refer to all people, places, and things as "Marklar". Despite being almost identical and all having the same name, they are still somehow able to tell each other apart and address each other as Marklar without ambiguity.
All Marklars are almost identical, with orange skin and egg-shaped heads. They have prominent veins on their scalps and have yellow eyes. The only unique traits amongst different Marklar are the veins on their heads, the color of the robes they wear, and their height. The leader is the only known Marklar to wear a yellow robe and have a gray beard.
Mouse Penis
This little lab-grown creature has short-whiskers, fluffy ears, and a genetically engineered penis growing out of its back. Ms. Garrison commissions its creation with hopes of becoming a man once again.
Mecha-Streisand
"Mecha-Streisand" is the twelfth episode of Season One, and the 12th overall episode of South Park. It originally aired on February 18, 1998[1]. The Episode parodies many Japanese TV shows and movies, including Ultraman and the Godzilla movies. Mecha-Streisand herself is a parody of MechaGodzilla.
The dawn of Zinthar is at hand! The boys' discovery of a prehistoric relic spawns a monster that threatens to destroy South Park and the world. Help is on the way however, in the form of an award-winning actor, a celebrated movie critic and a rock superstar.
The Mayor of Imaginationland
The Mayor of Imaginationland is a representation of the Disney character called Dreamfinder from the Journey Into Imagination attraction in the Epcot Center Parks at Disney World. He sang the song of the attraction, called the Imagination Song, when he delivers Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Jimmy, and Butters to Imaginationland in his blimp. Butters thinks he wants to rape them due to his overly happy personality and looks. He dies in the
terrorist attack on Imaginationland when the alien, from the Alien film series, tears out his organs. In the end of "Imaginationland, Episode III", Butters revives the Mayor by reimagining him, and consequentially, he also reimagines Imaginationland after it was destroyed.
Otters
In the year 2546, these sentient otters lead the Allied Atheist Alliance -- supposedly the most "logical" atheist organization. Blavius is their leader (with the pendant on his head) and Hartsol is his right-hand-otter (he's got the glass screen over his eye). Together, the otters aim to take on the Unified Atheist League, the United Atheist Alliance, and the Time Child.
Pygmies
While the students are trying to save the rainforest with their "Getting Gay With Kids" troupe, they are attacked and tied-up by these adorable little natives. Luckily, some bulldozers come to save the day.
Polly Prissy Pants
Polly Prissy Pants is one of Eric Cartman's toys, along with Clyde Frog, Peter Panda, Rumpertumskin, and Muscleman Marc. They were the only comfort Cartman had, and acted as his alter-egos. He talks to them and pretends they are real when he is having personal issues in his life. Polly, along with the rest of his toys were "killed" in "1%".
Polly Prissypants is a small doll dressed in a pink dress and hat with white frills and white and pink striped stockings. She has light blue buttons as eyes.
Peter Panda
Peter Panda was one of Eric Cartman's stuffed animals. It first appeared in "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut" but made its last appearance in "1%" after it was burned in a house fire.
Peter Panda is a toy panda bear with the usual features of a panda such as white body and black accents. He also has pink ears.
Rumpertumpskin
Rumpertumpskin was one of Eric Cartman's stuffed animals. It made its first appearance in the episode "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut".
During the events of "1%", Rumpertumskin was inadvertently destroyed by Eric Cartman after he tripped a trip-wire trap which detonated a bomb collar around Rumpertumskin's neck. Although the perpetrator of the "killing" was thought to have been Polly Prissypants, it was actually Eric Cartman who was pressured by his peers and by his mother indirectly to grow up and give up his stuffed animals.
Rumpertumskin is an overweight purple dragon with a pink stomach, pink wings, and red spikes on its head and tail.
Muscleman Marc
Muscleman Marc is a toy owned by Eric Cartman that made its first appearance in the episode "1%".
After Peter Panda is set on fire, Cartman takes Marc to Token's House, where he believes he will be safe. However, shortly thereafter, Cartman finds him in pot of boiling of water. Marc was apparently killed by another toy of Cartman's, Polly Prissypants, who was, in reality, a manifestation of Cartman's twisted subconscious.
Marc is shown to be muscular, small, and covered in what appear to be stickers in the likeness of tattoos. The stickers are in the shape of the heads of Cartman's other toys.
Scuzzlebutt
Scuzzlebutt is a basket-weaving monster who lives on top of a mountain in South Park. He has a piece of celery as an arm and Patrick Duffy as a leg. He appears prominently in the Season One episode, "Volcano". He has had several cameo appearances since. Skuzzlebutt is a large brown creature with Patrick Duffy as a leg and a celery stick for an arm. He has dark brown hair and a dark brown beard.
He is a kind, sweet-natured creature with a basic grasp of the English language, as he is shown able to say the words "friend" and "Volcano". He is reclusive but unafraid of humans. He is benevolent and thoughtful, as he is shown saving the boys in a wicker basket and giving some freshly-picked mountain flowers to Mayor McDaniels.
Sparky
Sparky is Stan Marsh's dog, who is part doberman and part wolf, and is claimed by Stan to be "the toughest dog on the mountain". This assertion is challenged, however, by other South Park residents when Sparky's homosexual nature manifests; first with the mutt Sylvester and then with Clyde's dog, Rex.
Spookyfish
Stan's Aunt Flo gives him this strange fish as a present. Stan later finds out that this fish was bought at the Indian Burial Ground Pet Shop where some strange portal from an evil world exists. Stan gets blamed by his mom for the murders when the Spookyfish goes on a killing spree.
The Underpants Gnomes
The Underpants Gnomes are gnomes that travel the world stealing underpants. They are featured in the episode "Gnomes". They later reappeared in "Red Sleigh Down" and "Imaginationland". They are voiced by Trey Parker.
Underpants Gnomes appear in the stereotypical Gnome fashion, with thick long beards. They primarily wear red shirts, blue pants and black belts. Each wears a tall pointed hat, normally green or black in color. Many carry backpacks in order to store the underwear.
Gnomes are apparently very sturdy creatures, who can stand-up easily to physical abuse; Cartman striking one with a stick did not appear to harm it, merely prompting it to call him a pussy. Though it should be noted that Cartman is fairly nonathletic and might not be capable of hitting very hard.
Snooki
Snooki is a parody of Jersey Shore`s Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, appearing in the episode "It's a Jersey Thing". She was discovered terrorizing Skeeter's Bar. Randy Marsh, Officer Barbrady, Stephen Stotch, Ned Gerblansky, Jimbo Kern, and a few others found the monstrous Snooki in the bar, where she was said to have torn a hole in the meat locker and broken the cigarette machine.
Snooki appears as an over exaggerated form of the real celebrity. She is hunch backed, has large ears, has a large nose, and is short in stature. She is also overweight, with obvious fat rolls. She wears a black bikini top under a teal cover, a lace bottom, and green slippers.