S9 - Bloody Mary

South Park Zone
South Park - Season 10 - Episode 914  - Bloody Mary
Watch South Park Bloody Mary online

About this South Park episode:
Stan, Cartman, Kyle and Ike attend karate class while Stan's dad Randy goes for a couple of drinks. After class, an inebriated Randy drives the boys home, but he gets pulled over and arrested for drunk driving. Randy gets his license revoked and is ordered to perform community service and to attend Alcoholics Anonymous, where he is taught that he is powerless to control his drinking and that alcoholism is a disease. It also calls for him to surrender himself to a "Higher Power" in order to get better. Randy, whom Stan describes as a "hypochondriac", then ironically begins to drink more, since he has decided that he is in fact powerless to control it and cannot stop. Around this time, a statue of the Virgin Mary starts to bleed "out its ass" and people begin to flock around it to find a cure for their diseases. Randy believes it can heal him of his disease.
Randy has Stan drive him to the church where the statue is, and�after cutting in line, arguing that his "disease" is worse than that of others�he is drenched in the holy blood. He jumps up and declares that he will not drink any more (ostensibly because the bleeding statue is his "Higher Power"), and abstains from alcohol for five days.
The new Pope Benedict XVI comes to investigate, and discovers that the blood is not actually coming from the statue's anus, but its vagina. Since "chicks bleed out their vaginas all the time", this is no miracle (despite the fact that the statue is actually bleeding in the first place), and Randy, disappointed by this, suddenly realizes God did not heal him. He at first declares himself powerless again, and most of the other recovering alcoholics follow suit and rush to the bar. Stan then rushes outside after him and convinces him that if God did not help him, he must have managed to stop it himself. Randy then declares that he will never drink again, but Stan objects to this too, claiming that if Randy completely avoids drinking, drinking is still controlling his life, and that true discipline is figuring out how to live in moderation. Randy then puts Stan on his shoulders and walks home while the two discuss how much drinking would be proper.